Transgender Day of Remembrance, observed on November 20th each year, is a solemn occasion dedicated to honoring and remembering transgender individuals who have lost their lives to violence and discrimination. It serves as a poignant reminder of the challenges and injustices faced by the transgender community worldwide. This day is of utmost importance as it raises awareness about the need for greater acceptance, protection, and respect for transgender people, advocating for a more inclusive and equitable society.
November 20, 2023 7 PM to 9 PM
Blackbird Commons 131 Atkins Avenue Asbury Park, NJ 07712
Sabrina Rondeau introducing the Master of Ceremony TDOR Address by Dr. Geena Buono Song “Where do the Seasons Get Their Names” by Rick Barry performed by Rick Barry Political Figures Reading of the Poem "The Guest House" by Rumi read by Julia Scotti Song “Like a Tattoo” by Sade performed by Gillian Buono accompanied by Bob Egan on the Piano "What Does TDOR Mean To Me?" ~ Members of the Community (1 minute per member) Mindfulness Meditation by Heike Zelnhefer Reading of Victim Names by Members of the Community accompanied in the background by Bob Egan on the Piano Song “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper performed by Gillian Buono accompanied by Bob Egan on the Piano Reading from her book "Remain Silent" by Robyn Gigl Closing Thoughts by Dr. Geena Buono Song “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty performed by Rick Barry
full program content
Sabrina Rondeau introducing the Master of Ceremony Opening TDOR Address by Dr. Geena Buono
Song “Where do the Seasons Get Their Names” by Rick Barry performed by Rick Barry
As autumn falls upon us, I wonder if it was named intentionally or by coincidence. Because every year around September, for as far back as I can remember, I give in and I begin falling slowly. And I ask is there a reason, who is at fault? Who gets to name the seasons, yeah who makes that call? Cause I’ve got a few suggestions and furthermore I have one question; how does one stop a year’s progression from fading so quickly?
From the first bitter breeze, I long for spring. In anticipation of the winter and the sorrow it brings. Through holidays and winter frost, I think of all the friends that I have lost and how I miss them so damn much.
And it’s not the change of climate that fuels these thoughts, but something buried deep inside me, vacant and dark. The changing seasons just remind me, another year has flown right by me, four seasons older in the same wretched body. There’s no time for us to relax, I want my youth, I want my innocence back and all those days I wasted that went passing so quickly.
Political Figures
Lauren Albrecht, Director, Advocacy and Organizing at Garden State Equality Luanne Peterpaul, Assemblywoman-Elect Dr. Margie Donlon, Assemblywoman-Elect Senator Vin Gopal Amy Quinn, Asbury Park Deputy Mayor Alison Myers, NJ Director of Civil Service Department
Reading "The Guest House" by Rumi read by Julia Scotti The following reading, "The Guest House" by Rumi, metaphorically speaks to the idea of embracing all experiences and emotions that come our way. In the context of Transgender Day of Remembrance, the poem can be interpreted as a call for acceptance and understanding of the diverse and sometimes challenging experiences faced by transgender individuals. The poem likens life to a guest house where various emotions, thoughts, and experiences are treated as visitors. In the spirit of TDOR, this could be seen as a metaphor for acknowledging and embracing the full spectrum of transgender experiences, from the struggles and hardships to moments of joy and self-discovery.
The "The Guest House" conveys a message of inclusivity and compassion, encouraging the audience to welcome all facets of the transgender experience without judgment. It underscores the importance of understanding, empathy, and creating a space where every aspect of one's identity is acknowledged and respected—a sentiment particularly relevant on a day dedicated to remembering transgender individuals who have faced discrimination and violence.
"The Guest House" by Rumi This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Song “Like a Tattoo” by Sade performed by Gillian Buono accompanied by Bob Egan on the Piano He told me sweet lies of sweet love Heavy with the burden of the truth And he spoke of his dreams Broken by the burden Broken by the burden of his youth "Fourteen years," he said "I couldn't look into the sun She saw him laying at the end of my gun" Hungry for life And thirsty for the distant river I remember his hands And the way the mountains looked The light shot diamonds from his eyes Hungry for life And thirsty for the distant river Like the scar of age Written all over my face The war is still raging inside of me I still feel the chill As I reveal my shame to you I wear it like a tattoo I wear it like a tattoo I wear it like a tatto
"What Does TDOR Mean To Me?" Members of the Community (1 minute per member)
Mindfulness Meditation
Welcome, everyone, to this moment of collective reflection. Find a comfortable position, gently close your eyes or gaze softly at the floor in front of you, and let's begin our journey into mindfulness. Take a deep breath in, filling your lungs with air, and exhale slowly, releasing any tension. Feel the weight of your body grounding you to this present moment. As you continue to breathe naturally, bring your awareness to the sensations in your body. Notice the rise and fall of your belly or chest with each breath. Feel the subtle movements and the rhythm of your breath as it flows effortlessly. Now, shift your focus to the sensations in your surroundings. Notice any sounds around you—the gentle hum of life, the shifting of bodies in chairs, or the distant sounds of the outside world. Allow these sounds to be part of your experience without judgment. As you maintain your awareness, imagine your thoughts as passing clouds in the vast sky of your mind. Acknowledge them, greet each thought and say “hello thought” before gently guiding your attention back to your breath. Your breath is your anchor of this moment. Now, expand your awareness to encompass your entire body. Feel the energy within, the aliveness in every cell. Sense the connection between your body and the Earth beneath you. In this space of stillness, let compassion fill your heart. Visualize a warm, golden light surrounding you, radiating love and understanding. Let this light expand with each breath, reaching out to embrace everyone in this shared experience. [Pause for 30 seconds] As we prepare to honor the names of those who have lost their lives to violence and hatred, hold in your heart a sense of empathy and unity. Recognize the fragility of life and the importance of compassion in our world. Take a few moments and in these few moments of silence, reflect on the interconnectedness of humanity. Let the stillness be a sanctuary for both sorrow and hope, as we remember and honor those who are no longer with us. [Pause for 30 seconds] Now, gently bring your awareness back to the present moment. As you open your eyes, carry this sense of mindfulness with you. May it guide you in fostering understanding, compassion, and a commitment to creating a world of peace. Thank you for sharing this mindful moment together.
Say Their Name Members of the Community
Reading the 394 Names of the Lives that were lost worldwide due to violence and by suicide. See Name List Below
Accompanied by Bob Egan on the Piano
Song “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper performed by Gillian Buono accompanied by Bob Egan on the Piano You with the sad eyes Don't be discouraged Oh I realize It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all And the darkness inside you Can make you feel so small But I see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful Like a rainbow Show me a smile then Don't be unhappy, can't remember When I last saw you laughing If this world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear You call me up Because you know I'll be there And I'll see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let it show Your true colors True colors are beautiful Like a rainbow If this world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear You call me up Because you know I'll be there And I'll see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let it show Your true colors True colors True colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful Like a rainbow
Reading of her book "Remain Silent" by Robyn Gigl
Song “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty performed by Rick Barry Well, I won't back down No I won't back down You could stand me up at the gates of Hell But I won't back down No I'll stand my ground Won't be turned around And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down Gonna stand my ground And I won't back down Hey baby There ain't no easy way out (I won't back down) Hey I will stand my ground And I won't back down Well, I know what's right I got just one life In a world that keeps on pushin' me around But I'll stand my ground And I won't back down Hey baby There ain't no easy way out (I won't back down) Hey I will stand my ground (I won't back down) And I won't back down Hey baby There ain't no easy way out (I won't back down) Hey I won't back down Hey baby There ain't no easy way out (I won't back down) Hey I will stand my ground (I won't back down) And I won't back down (I won't back down) No I won't back down
Closing Words by Dr. Geena Buono
Special thanks
Brittney and Frank Solis, Blackbird Commons Damian White, Dazz Media Jason Dermer, Asbury Audio John Krajewski, Asbury Audio Lauren Albrecht, Director, Advocacy and Organizing at Garden State Equality Luanne Peterpaul, Assemblywoman-Elect Dr. Margie Donlon, Assemblywoman-Elect Senator Vin Gopal Amy Quinn, Asbury Park Deputy Mayor Alison Myers, NJ Director of Civil Service Department Michael Hand, Asbury Park Police Department Gillian Buono Rick Barry Bob Egan
Garden State Equality The City of Asbury Park Asbury Park Press NJ 12 TV Refreshments Compliments of Shannon & Rick Barry, and Joe Cole, Georgie's Bar, Asbury Park, NJ Kevin Kern, Asbury Park Leather TJ's Pizza of Asbury Park and all Volunteers & Special Guests
TDOR Committee Members Dr. Geena Buono Heike Zelnhefer, LCSW
Gratefully, Transgender Alliance of New Jersey
In Loving Memory of Joe Harvard and Babs Siperstein
Name List
The collection and tracking of the victim names is taken from https://tdor.translivesmatter.info/reports
Andrea Lopez Ariana Diaz Chávez Brenda Emmily Rodrigues Liliana Veroni ("La Chaqueña") Mariela Jorgelina Romero Name Unknown Name Unknown Patricia Ramírez Sofía Agustina Bravo Sofia Inés Fernández Adriana Noah O'Brien Onyx John Aysel Hulya Sadighova Babul Mridha Dustu Joyeey Akter Nagini Name Unknown Nazma Akhtar Liza Kistauri Luciana Desiré Vaca Abby Silva Moreira Adriana Santos Agatha Santos Alana da Silva Alexia Silva de Santana Amanda Rodrigues Ribeiro Ana Paula dos Santos Anna Luisa Pantaleão Aylla Sofia Bárbara Rafaela Bianca Carvalho Gonçalves Bianca Ferreira da Rocha ("Bia") Bruna Brasil Bruninha da Silva Caio Linhares Caju Carla Pereira Carolina Pereira ("Carol") Chiquita Cláudia da Costa Daniele Soares ("Dani") Daniella Santos ("Danny") Daniely Medeiros Gonçalves Eduarda Emanuelly Eloise Andrade Emily Isabeli Colstt Endriely Prestes Aguiar Ester da Silva Evelyn Sampaio de Moraes Fran Jungers Neto Gabriel Godoy Grazyele Junqueiro Greyci Kelly Iasmim Santos Silva Jady Jaqueline Fyoruti Jerry Rodrigues Jessica Silva ("Jessy") Joana Smith/Joanna Smitt Joyce Kelly Julia Nicolly Moreira da Silva Kamilla Nogueira/Camila de Souza Karla Santos Kauana Vasconcelos Kauanne Kauany Bacelar Ketlhyn da Silva Nascimento Laila Lelê Lorena Fox Luara de Souza Machado Lucas Peres Lully Pimentel Maria Fernanda Hilton Michele Souza Michelle Michelly/Michely Moreira Mimi Pereira da Silva Filho Mirela Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Natasha Natasha Negão Nety Cosme R. L. da Silva Júnior Rafaela Moraes Izaias Raíssa Ramona Torres da Silva Rayane Cássia Bittencourt Nogueira Rayca Pereira de Jesus Raynanda Mineiro Rebeka Vendaval Renna Rodrigues/Rena de Moura Rihanna Rodrigues dos Santos Sabrina Medeiros Samantha Samantha Campana Samara Cibele Ferreira Gomes Sarita Pinheiro de Oliveira Sebastiana Pereira de Souza ("Tiana") Shakira Sofia Gonçalves de Oliveira Stephany Villar Stheffany Ashley da Silva Neves ("Eyshila") T. L. de Sousa Tailla Ariany Santos Thallita Costa Thalyta Gabriely Alves Sousa Thyalla dos Santos Tiago da Silva Vera Lúcia Lopes Siqueira ("Julia Cristina") Victor Victória Jakson Vitória Damas W. de Oliveira Rodrigues W. P. da Silva Souza Aurora Claire Stark Bekett Noble Emily Grace Rawbon Hailey Mackenzie Lawson ("Bee") Jayden Miller Lucy Dawson Stier Maiken/Dani Cooper Claudia Díaz Pérez Éber Albarrán ("Ever") Keyti Sayuri Rodríguez Vásquez Ángela María Bernal Ospina Camila La Crespa Dania Sharith Polo Solórzano Francheska Rivas Franklin Pabón Camacho Gabriela J. C. Gómez Katia L. F. Rodríguez Mier La Gata La Pájara Luciana Sandoval Luisa Fernanda Negrete Luisa Fernanda Parra Luna Ramírez Soto María José Torres Astros Mayté Mejía Shaina Vanessa Pretel Gómez Susan Fernández Tati Guzmán Yormary Flavia Herrera Rodríguez Samira Lescar Brauny Alcántara Aithana Camila Azul Vargas Caicedo Bella Brigitte Campanilla Cecibel ("Ceci") Chepina Arteaga Morante Giyo Castillo Guendi/Wendy Jordana Borbor Cruz ("Itaty") Jordana Cortez Joselyn Lino Jossi Córdova Macas Keyly Daniela Macías Cortés Lilia/Lila Luna Bravo Mateo Briones Alvarado Paris Marchant Dioses Patty Sheyla Cabezas Reyes Valentína Moran ("Tina") Maël Eden Paufert Anna Ivankova Cleo Quinteros Hernández Maryori Sousa Samantha Fuentes Teffy Balizari Valentina de Paz Karina Guevara Melissa Núñez Soraya Álvarez Bebo Dolly Khushi Lichi Minal Neelu Pinki Praneetha Praveen Nath Priya Raja Patra Rath Kisan Rehana Saba Sana Sofia Alya Mala Tante Butet Noor Alsaffar ("Noor BM") Bruna Cancio dos Santos Chiara Colombini Lucy Salani Marta Castaña Torres Name Unknown Naomi Cabral Veronica Manganese Ryuchell Alondra Chacon Avila Britney Hernández Vargas China Consejito Dani Millán Denisse Cabaly Fede Ivanna Divina Jhons Jenny Jenny Jessica Zoe ("Yulia") Jordana Joseline July Karen Sánchez Alvarez Karina Gómez Karla Santos Kenia Salazar Kimberly Fernanda Mendoza Sevilha Lina Franco Liz Hernández Marimar Kim Martha Torres Lomelí Michelle Jesús P. C. ("Jaki") Mónica Jiménez Belmont Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Name Unknown Natalia González Santiago Natasha Nicole Olvin Osório Doroteo Pamela Paris Alexsandry Paris Beristain Vergara Valério Renata Nicole Duarte Reyes Rosy Shakira Sheyla Shiirya/Shyriia Violeta Navarrete Ximena Madrid Flores Yanina Martínez Khina Zakharova Ariel Mendoza Juana Mena Hernández Katherine Massiel Rivera ("Julia") Aaiyza Kamrany Laiq Mahnoor Mishi Name Unknown Z. A. Franchesca Gomez Ale Castillo Limache Camila Sánchez Cataleya Erika Quintana Ávalos Juiliana Chávez Flores Name Unknown Name Unknown Priscila Aguado Hutaco Ruby Ferrer Stephany Jama Cotto Tania Viviana Sandoval Ramírez Elaine Englis J. Amihan J. Pamudulan J. Royos Juriana Sison Orario K. B. Misador M. Rosa Mamauag Samantha Nicole Quirino Sofia Pereira Santos Eden Knight Noa Milivojev Juraj Vankulic Iván Guadalupe Lima Fortete Name Unknown Name Unknown Sandra Kalle Molly Armin Derin S. Ecem Seçkin Name Unknown Alex Bendall Brianna Ghey Ezra Jackson Finn Hall Matty Sheldrick Name Unknown Victoria Pereira Adalyn Anderson Alexa Andreevna Sokova Ashia Davis Ashley Burton Banko Paso/Banko Brown Brayden Snyder Bre'Asia Bankz Caelee Love-Light Caitlyn Éowyn Earhart ("Cait") Cam Chamberlain Camdyn Rider Cashay Henderson Catherine Wheeler Chanell Perez Ortiz ("Uvita") Charm Wilson Colin Smith Dacoda Lawrence ("Codii") Daniel Davis Aston Day Rodas Destiny Howard DéVonnie J’Rae Johnson Diamond Jackson-McDonald Dolli Goins Elena Esther Adem Emma Borhanian Erin Ezra Young Fernielle Mary Mora Gwen Gatewood Henry Berg-Brousseau Imanitwitaho Zachee Ivory Nicole Smith Jacob Williamson Jasmine "Star" Mack Kayleigh Scott KC Johnson Kelly Loving LaKendra Andrews Levi Martin Lovely Page Luis Ángel Díaz Castro Manuel Teran ("Tortugita") Mar’Quis ‘MJ’ Jackson Maria Jose Rivera Rivera Mia Alaina-Lorene Knight Michelle Dionne Peacock Moe Moore Morgan Dee Mykal Rae Myles Fitzpatrick Nova Dunne Olivia Snow Ome Gandhi Rasheeda Williams ("Koko Da Doll") Sherlyn Marjorie Stephanie Petty Tasiyah Woodland ("Siyah") Theadora Cassidy ("Thea") Thomas Robertson ("Tom-Tom") Tiffany Banks Tree Crane Unique Banks YOKO La Divina/La Johan O. E. B. Pineda Name Unknown